SirNarf: Awesome stuff. I really can't express my delight in reading your stories better than that. If i had gold stars, you would have one .

I've edited the prologue so far. Now, i've already read the prologue before... but dang, it is still just as awesome as the first time. Your work is really, really good. You cover nearly all the senses (when appropriate), and you use a very excellent tense (although it's a bit harder to edit ). Just so you know, so far, most of my edits have been a few spelling mistakes, lots of comma injections, fixing it's/its (i used to be completely confused with them too!), and just a few minor reworks. Its grammar and format is excellent compared to the papers i edited yesterday! And hey, if paying attention to that stuff takes away from your writing, then don't! I can fix it just as fast as i can read it .

Cheers,
Unislash

Why hadn't I read this before? This is some really good stuff. Perhaps you passed bursary or tertiary english?
Anyway keep it up, you've done the first 10 pages there

Most of my writing is done while I'm hammered hence the grammer errors hehe. I'm working on a larger post to fire up here all at once so that everyone can have a bit more reading to do than just a few short paragraphs.

Thanks for all the comments, keep them comming, it's inspiration to keep writing to know that people are enjoying it.

The next big spot should be up in a few days or maybe later today if I get bored at work and have time to write a bit.

OMG - the Borgs got him!!! lol, nice avatar and looking forward to read ur next post

Just a bit of a teaser, just for you all.......





"Hersay!" Elisar bellowed over the rumble in the auditorium, his thick white mustache wiggling on his face, as he slammed his fists down on the polished marble table in front of him.

The auditorium was a work of art, it's brilliant green and white marble columns towering nearly thirty feet to a stained glass ceiling depicting two massive gryphons locked in a screaming battle above a cliff overlooking crystal blue waters.

The stone floor was inlaid with gold streaks hauled from the Dwarven mountains to the North and worn smooth from decades of slippered feet gliding across it.

Solid oak tables carved with vines and leaves encircled the central podium at which Albirth stood shaking visably, his knuckles clenching the soft brown Yew inlaid with emerald table top.

The auditorium was beyond a work of art, it's arching spires allowed the person who stood in the center of the room to merely whisper and be heard by all.

The sunlight shone brightly through the stained gryphon glass, sending a myriad of colors that was awe-inspiring to all but those who used the room frequently on the green columns.

"I speak the truth," Albirth growled, anger seething in his voice. "Vorth is built on an ancient Drow city, filled with Drow magic, and now Morochs forces control it."

"Hersay again!" Elisar croaked. "The Drow are a myth, Vorth was built on good farm land and whatever trinkets appear to be Elven that have been unearthed are worthless."

Several other members in various silken robes nodded in agreeance, whispering among themselves. The drawback to the auditorium was that while the speaker could be heard everywhere, those seated at the tables could not be. Albirth strained to hear the whispers but could not.

Drawing a deep breath he spoke, "Think of it then, we know the Drow..." he stopped, waving his hands towards Elisar in a vain attempt to shut him up, "The Elves, once did something there, that there are catacombs reaching deeper than any human has dare gone under the city, and finally, Vorth is as you said, a farming city, what possible use could it be for Moroch to take control of?"

"It has no strategic value, it's garrison was meager, and yet Moroch sent an entire battalion to capture it. There is something under Vorth that he wants badly, and now he has it, and I don't give a damn whether you think the Drow exist or not, but I believe it and I believe he has plans for them!" he spat the last sentence, causing more hushed murmers to arise from those gathered.

"Verywell Albirth," Elisar dipped his head, "I agree, Moroch has plans for Vorth, but what do you surmise we do? Our troops are too spread thin to attack the city and if what you saw is true, we can't commit to take out an entire batalion fortified inside a city."

"I don't expect us to wage an assault. I propose we send a someone to infiltrate the city and discover what they can of Morochs plans," Albirth said. "We all know Moroch has human mercenaries in his armies, those he's converted to help him win this war. We can easily send someone to join his ranks."

The council was buzzing with talk at this idea. It could work, and it would be of little risk in the balance of the war. The sun outside dipped behind a cloud and the blazing colors reflecting off the pillars faded as the debating continued.

Albirth stood at the podieum, waiting for the councils decision, which was nothing less than he had expected. They would send someone to Vorth to join Morochs ranks, but who.

Great job! Very nice storyteller u are

I could read books from you.

Unislash

Excellent

Nyaaaah a bit more....just for you all..... maybe I should turn it into a book or something, we'll see. Enjoy.


Hornath stood on the bow of his ship surveying the landscape ahead of him, the sunlight glinting off the pristine gold buttons on his heavy suade jacket as gulls circled and cried above the giant vessel. The massive stone ramparts of Thraal stood before his ship, catapults and ballista lining the walls, long banners and penants hanging from it's many granite surfaces.

His eyes narrows as he strained to see, and he caught a glimpse of the armored bodies moving along the walks that bridged the inner city from the outer defence wall, but this did not concern him, his eyes were glued on a brilliant emerald pad near the east side of the city, waiting for the signal to approach from the mirror guards.

He smiled and nodded to himself, inhaling the air around him, memories flooding back of his home city. A flash came from the east, followed by two quicker flashes and one long indicating he was cleared to dock.

A merchant by heart, he had done his share of mercenary work in the past, fighting as a hired hand, dealing with the more seedy aspects of the great cities across the Thraal empire, making contacts and friends people did not even know about. He was literally the go-to man for commodities in the under-streets of any well established town or city, netting him the ability to command such a beautiful ship.

He looked down on the deck, seeing his men scurry around tieing off ropes and ensuring several crystal levers were in proper place. The ship itself, Saphiras, hung in mid-air, a soft vibration filling it's hull as the magic core within kept it at odds with gravity, it's dark blue deck plating glistened in the sun and was as strong as the stone walls of the main city.

Saphiras wasn't just any cargo ship, it was a spell-jammer of immense proportions, streching nearly 100 feet in length and 50 in width. It's hull though appearing to be wood, was enchanted with the strongest magics his coin could purchase, and was near impenetrable to any type of weapon or magic. Hornath smiled, yet for all her bulk and girth, she handled like a young drake in the skies on a hot wind current.

"Secure the masts, we've got our signals lads, lets be off to tha city," Hornath shouted down, his words followed by several crisp "Yes Sir!" responses from his men. They were battle hardened, and seasoned from their travels and worked with a practiced ease that made the jammer seem to glide effortlessly through the sky towards the emerald platform.

A muttered curse arose from the deck and Hornath tore his eyes from the emerald platform to see what was happening below on deck. His men never cursed unless it was something to be worried about, they were all too seasoned and fought too many battles to let little things get to them.

One of the levers had jammed, and the ship jolted hard to port as two men struggled to keep their balance and free the lever. The magic core of Saphiras struggled with strain sending vibrations throughout the hull plating.

Screams arose from the landing pad as workers and soldiers dove for cover and the stern of the ship smashed into a stone guide-pillar causing it to crack and groan with stress.

Hornath jolted to the right, slamming into the hand-carved wooden rail and losing his breath. He wasn't worried about damage to the ship, the thing could probably ram Thraals walls and not take any damage, but he was worried about the people on the pad.

The resulting crash abruptly swung the bow around hard to starboard sending several men overboard, causing Hornath to slide and smash into the opposite side of the rail, again knocking the breath from him as he was showered with rocks from the damaged pillar.

Pain formed in his mind and he blacked out, something he hadn't done in years as more rocks tumbled down on him and his ship.

I enjoy reading your stories, cant wait to see what happens next.

SirNarf: Another great short story .

I've been gradually working on editing the prologue, just so you know. I love doing it, but i have limited time on my comp these days

Cheers,
Unislash

Great stuff again - I'll stick to the thread

Just a teaser, I'll write more later. Enjoy.


Albirth watched in horror as the massive ship smashed into the pillars of the landing pad causing a plume of smoke to fill the sky. The screams of pain echoed throughout the citadel as workers and soliders were crushed under the debris.

Words formed on his lips as a spell sprung to mind, his hands moving in a rapid yet practiced motion, "Ath tal nor rith arin bal"

A glow spread from his hands as he threw them outwards towards the wildly swinging ship and he stumbled. The spell would allow him to control the ships movement, but the drawback was powerful, it literally transferred a portion of the massive bulks intertia to his body.

Slowly he strained his arms in front him and the ship responded, stopping it's wild flailing about in the air. Sweat beaded on his face in concentration as the ships magic power core strained against his own powerful magic.

With a groan he let the glow fade from one of his arms and he began muttering a second spell, one to dampen the magical effect.

His mind connected with the core almost instantly as he finished the incantation and he fought for control with it. It was typically an easy spell since there was nothing to fight back against his intrusion, unlike another spellcasters mind, but he also had to contend with keeping the ship stable.

An audiable whine filled the air across the citadel as the core came dangerously close to overloading. Albirths entire body was shaking with exertion, but slowly the whine faded and the power core became inert.

With the sudden loss of power, the spell jammer immediatly fell to gravity, causing Albirth to collapse and smash into the pitted cobblestones on the street dazing him momentarily.

He had been so focused on shutting down the core and keeping the ship straight he had forgotten about gravity and the sudden loss of support from the ships engines was too much for his magic to handle.

The resounding explosion sent a cloud of debris and stone hurtling into the air and caused the ship to sink a good twenty feet into the emerald panels of the landing pad.

Shaking, Albirth braced himself on the street and slowly rose to his feet, surveying the damage down at the pad. With a muttered curse at his own stupidity he gathered his robes and ran towards it, hoping there were survivors and that the wounded were not too many.

A few onlookers in the street gave him puzzled looks as he ran through the alleys but he paid them no heed. There was only one man he needed to survive the wreckage, and he would do everything in his power to reach him in time.

Ooooo. As soon as i get my hard drive working, i'm putting these stories into word and editing them, start to finish

Cheers,
Unislash

Thats a pretty tense action scene there, great job! Its been a while since I read this thread and I've sort of lost track... Is there a main character(s)? Who are they so far?

Anich