Prologue for Daimonin-The Right to Survive

Elves-Beings of swift and gentle nature there skin was said to be flawless the thier bodes sculpted with perfectly from the heavens their beauty was close is only compared to a warm summers day. There are things everyone knows for example dont misuse magic, dont wonder in the wilderness alone but most of all NEVER cross an elf. They nature may seem kind but when angered their vengence is swift and unmerciless. Their abilities in magic being able to mental and physically damage and opponent with their own minds they were only matched to the greatest of demons, although their bodies still frail in weak in combat, makin them vunerable to melee attacks.

Dwarves-Creature of a stout and proud nature. The features on a dwarf werent near as perfect as an elf but dwarves werent usually ugly, but they were quiet hairy, their noses round and their legs small and rippling with muscles. Their miniscule stature made people assume they are weak but in reality dwarves are one of the most important creatures. They could create almost any item some of the items some were beautiful beyond measure they gleamed and radiated like the sun, there were even enchanted items with powers that could make the wearer nearly invincible.  If you ever need something fixed ask a dwarf, just as long as you dont insult him. Although despite their smithing abilities they were often ill-tempered and quick to draw conclusions.

Giants-Beasts of nature strong and tall. Giants were usually ugly and their faces not pleasent to look at they had eye filled with confusion and their height towered over you making you feel like an any. Giants although not one of the most important races they were one of the most feared. Their strength was unmatched their powerful arms could rips you apart molecule at a time and their melee combat was said to be challeged by very few or at least the few that lived. They were resistant to most attacks but vulnerable to certain magics. There were very few giants who could use magic but those that could were revered and treated as kings. The worst thing about the giants was their intelligence level, lower than a dwarf and much lower than an elf.

Demons-The most vile of all the races, they had claws hard as mithril, powers to drain your spirit and were swift and deadly in their attacks. Their apperance was even worse than the giants, it is said some demons could possess others but their true appearance was torn with scars, razor teeth, and a distorted mangled body their menacing eyes could burn their image into your brain forever just being in their presence you could feel the murderous intent of theirs piercing you body going straight for your heart. Being killed by a demon is one of the worse things in the world mainly because they consume their prey it is thought that demons stomach acid is corrosive could if touch your would feel the skin slowly but surely melt off. They hated all races and only usually only sought after power. Some demons were said to be rational but that may just me a myth. Demons werent highly vunerable or extremley powerful in magic but they had minimal resistance to all things, meaning if they ever brought themselves together their power would be unmatched. Along with that although their magic and smithing wasnt the best it is a legend of powerful lich lords who have mastered a basic magic and are able to alter items to grant amazing abilties at terrible costs.

Long ago the 4 elder races, elves, dwarves, giants, and demons ruled the world known as daimonin. Each race had an advantage over the other, elves had magic,the dwarves could craft any armor or weapon, the giants were uncompared in their strength, and the demons, they had they the power to corrupt ones mind and body. The races had mad a council to prevent war from erupting, and for a number of years this worked. Unfortunately something happend, suddenly the demons craved power and turned on the other council members. War suddenly broke out amoung the nations. The demons seemingly not the strongest had yet to reveal their true strength and their true ruler. Hundreds of years passed as the demons began to lost the war, eventually something happened though. Their power seemed to have double and they were definitely more coordinated than they previosly were. The council soon found out that their true leader was a demon named Morloch it is said the only thing worse than his power was his appearence, supposedly his body was that of thousands of demons, and his face was twisted in anger and rage.

He quickly overpowered the council and all hope was lost. Luckily the dwarves elves and giants had an idea, if they could take a piece of each race and combine them maybe just maybe there was hope of winning this war. They took a small portion of the dwarves smithing abilty, the elves magic, and the giants strength and created a new race known as human beings. These creatures seemed primitive yet they were quick to learn to countinuously pushed themselvs to thier limits. A few decades passed and the war continued with little of each race left, the humans had began to advance and were becoming a threat to Morloch and his plan to rule daimonin. The humans were eventually able to stand even with Morloch and they were still becoming stonger. Finally one hero with muscles perfect flawless body of an elf, the chiseling muscles from a giant and anger of a dwarf although there is said to be a picture of him in the museum that shows the burning fire that raged his soul the fire crackling and the tendrils lashing out proving his tremendous strength yet he was unknown in name and only known by his power summoned all his life force to banish Morloch to the farthest regions of the darkest plane where he would never be hard of again. Humans have become more advanced and have found ways to bring the dead back to life even, unfortunately a new threat is rising to challenge them. As the threat approached the humans prepared, they raised their children in the old ways of magic, combat, and item making.

It is 10 years later and the threat has revealed itself as "Oriens Pravus" the closet tranlastion to english was in latin and it meant "rising evil" This is foe was female and unlike Morloch was actually beautiful her body enchanting her eyes inviting and her voice warm and soft as she would draw soldiers in before she devoured them with her teeth that were harder as hard as diamond. The humans combating this evil began to lose, but suddenly a stunning deity of light kind and gentle and comforting with her words .She appeared to them and revealed to them the secret of the lost being novus vita said to give new life to those willing so sacrifice part of their memory. In comparison the humans took this offer ignoring the consequences, they defeated the evil by the msot painful means neccessary enlisting torturers and evil beings. Some tortures would feed their prisoners demon stomach acid and in ate away slowly from your inside out as your stomach burned with the searing pain making it unbearble. Things have changed though the humans are now able to use magic to regain their memory in exception to the few alive from the old days who wish to forgot the terrible times. Presently another entity is rising from the demon plane and it is even worse and more frightening than before and the humans must find a way to win lest the world end. Has the humans reign come to an end, have their evil deeds cost them so much, or do they have the will to survive.

Very nice . It's like another re-telling of the history that these writers have been working miracles on.

Cheers,
Unislash

That's a huge story indeed. Almost like another version of the history background .

If you want to carry on with improving this then I can give you some ways to improve your writing.
First is the use of paragraphs. For some stories, the structure of text is important as it can relate to the story. Sometimes it is used to emphasize on a point. Other times, it is to help the reader recognize the setting of the story, or to tidy up the text. So for your story, the first paragraph can be about describing the four races (I'd try describing one race per paragraph, but you shouldn't worry about that. Especially if English is not your first language, it can get quite difficult.) So this paragraph is giving a little background about the four races, which I think is one of the key points in your story. Your second paragraph can be about the relationship between this races, and their agreement. And then about how the Council started. So you see? You are using paragraphing to not only tidy up the text, but to emphasize on a specific thing. It will help the reader to understand and reason the events that occur in your story. As this is quite large for a short story.

Another way to improve on this, is to use description or to describe things. Not just basic adjectives, but instead try and use a little imagery. Like what does a "demon" look like? You got to use effective description. By not only describing what they look like, but how they do the things they do. So for example, here's a little something about demons, using describing words to paint an image into the readers' mind. "There they are, the demons. They scrape their claws on granite to keep them sharp and steel. Huge horns stab out of their solid skull; perfect for tearing down even the thickest of castle walls. Their searing eyes burn straight into your soul, quail and despair. For it is those searing eyes, that will set upon you as they reap your flesh from your bones." As you can see, not only describing what they look like. But also describe how they do the things that they do.

You could greatly improve this, looking forward to reading more from you .

Cheers,
Anich

i edited it like you said so i just separated into paragraphs but i added some decent explanations of creatures but i tried not to overdue it on their descriptions as the saying goes "omit needless words" i think thats it

That's a great improvement . Although there is still plenty room for more .

Yes, no need to write more than you need to write. But I think that you could still use a bit more imagery. I understand if English is not your first language, then going into that much detail must be difficult.

Cheers,
Anich

okay sorry i think i have finally got it even though people are prolly tired of reading this i tried ti add a lot more detail i was thinking of adding something like the burning fire raged in the soul of (blank) the fire crackling and the tendrils lashing out proving his tremendous strengthso i did

Prologue for Daimonin 2-Life Begins

 (10 years Later) Barren, Desolate, and Devoid of life, Thats all that is left of the World. Ever since the evil called Jackson Michael arose the world was slowly and surely destroyed. All that was left was a few humans, elves, dwarves, and giants. Jackson Michael seized control over all the demons. Later in the hidden stronghold of everything good a child named Kyle was born. It was forseen many years ago by an Oracle that a young  human with a ying yang symbol on his arm would be born and he would have the power to defeat Jackson Michael and save the human race once more.

 "No, your reflexes are excellent, but your judgment is foolish." Yelled his trainer. Kyle now a teenager tall, with well defined muscles, light blue eyes, and dark brown hair he was well on his way of becoming a hero. Although he was arrogant and tended to strike back at others. He stormed out, away from his trainer and to talk to his Father, the worlds only wizard left. His father Kenny, Short in size and gray in the hair, saw Kyle approach and asked him what was wrong. Kyle responded " My trainer he says my judgements in battle are foolish." Kenny knowing his sons short temper explained that although he was destined for greatness he had a long way to go. Kenny told him it was time to practice his magic lessons. If there was one thing Kyle was gifted, at it was magic, his hands fluid in movements, and his words of power Loud and Strong. After he finished training he went to sleep.

 Kyle was in a strange room. He was surrounded in darkness and couldnt see. Suddenly there was a floating head before him, white in the face although his nose looked fake. He told Kyle he should give up training and that his mentors didnt care for him at all. Kyle awoke in a sweat, apparently he was dreaming. He looked around and it was still dark. He packed his things and left never to return.

 (3 years later) Kyle was now 18,  He thought of himself a real man, he had left home and knew that it was the best. As he reflected he was glad he left hoping that in his absence his family would be safe from the wrath of Jackson Michael. Kyle was scared though, after all those years Jackson Michael had never even tried to come after him. Being all alone in the demon plane Kyle had nothing to do but perfect his arts he was now skilled and the sword and magic. He even developed a spell called Magic Bullet it had the power to pierce its enemies and continue its path. He was reluclant to, but Kyle finally decided to return home, not to ask for his peers forgiveness, but to find out how they had been doing without home. Kyle approached the spot where his village would have been, but he saw nothing but one hooded man in a fight with many demons. Kyle ran with all his speed the air pulling at his body and his adrenaline pumping. He shot bullet after bullet until finally all the demons had been killed. He approached the man who was mortally wounded and had not long to live. Kyle removed the hood and saw his fathers face twisted in pain. Before Kyle could do anything else his father said " Son, I forgive you, but now you are old enough and able to defeat Jackson Michael, Once you do his power will be released and life will be brought back to the world." Kyle said, but Dad if I am the only human left what will become of our race." He said " I kept it a secret but in pocket dimension i created there lives 2 of each race and 1 human female and together you will all repopulate the world . Then his dad died in his arms, Kyle screamed in anguish and rage burned throught him. He ran to Jackson Michael castle and attack. He tore his way through countless demons only to finally approach Jackson Michael himself. Jackson Michael was nothing pretty to look at his face white and pale and his nose looked fake, Kyle remembered many years ago when that same face convinced him to leave. He called upon the spirit of his father to lend him strength and summoned 100000 glowing magic bullets and shot them at Jackson Michael killing him forever. Kyle left the castle and as soon as he did, it disenegrated and a blasted wave throughout the world bringing new life and it released the survivors in the pocket dimension and they met Kyle and together they all repopulated the world and taught the Races to start anew, except for this time everyone would live in harmony well except for the demons and the evil that would replace Jackson Michael but thats another story for another time.